Love, Sex, & Relationships

Needless to say, I went through a lot of difficulty growing up and as a young man. I believe that almost everyone does. I am not saying that mine was harder, more intense, or easier. But it was mine. I am sure you feel the same way. Our experiences are what make us who we are, right?

See that is not true. What makes us who we are is the choices that we make based on what we have put into our minds as the focus points. How do we go about using these focus points? Think of them as filters. Think of them as what you stand for.

I have been in a number of relationships and until I learned how to get out of my own way, they were doomed to failure. Not because I wasn’t true, not because I did not put in the effort, but because I choose wrong to begin with. Once I was in love with the right person, I felt for the first time how love was supposed to work. That made it easy to figure out a filtering device for love, or how to use that love, the greatest power on earth; as a filter.

See, after you have taken some knocks in love and your heart has been turned inside out a couple of times you start to become a cynic. Then whatever has been done to you in the past we tend to either do to the next person or not trust that person on that same point. This is already the beginning of the end, even before it starts. With both people coming to the relationship in this way, what are the odds of success? We know that the divorce rate in the

U.S.

is over fifty percent.

I don’t claim to have all the answers. But I do know that even if each person in the relationship has true love in their hearts it is still not enough. It’s true and very sad. True love is not enough. You each need to learn how to use that true love as a filtering device.

The sad part is what you have to loose? You cannot control the other person, and if they are not trust worthy to begin with, then the relationship was doomed from the start. So you need to believe. Yes, I said believe. You need to see the person as having the same love in their heart and the same perfect picture of you that you have of them. That means you need to actually love them and be able to consistently see them in a good light to begin with. That is what I mean be getting out of your own way.

That way when you feel slighted, and you will feel slighted, sooner or later, you grab that love, you give the person the benefit of the doubt and you see them loving you and wanting the best for you, just like you love them and want the best for them. You see, it is not loves’ fault, it is one or both of the persons fault in not giving the benefit of the doubt. When we first get into a relationship, don’t we give the benefit of the doubt to our partners? Then the fights begin and words that should never have been said get said. Then the benefit of the doubt goes out the window. To be able to keep the benefit alive, use your love as a filtering device.

I was channel surfing last night. I know can you believe it, a guy that channel surfs? There was this guy, on an advertisement for The Tudors or something about Henry the 8^th, and he said that only the young can fall in love with their whole heart. What kind of crap is that? I almost want to watch it just to spit cherry seeds at the screen. I am not over the hill, but at my early forties I fell harder and deeper in love than I had ever been able to before. Now I know people think that young love is better, but that is because they don’t know how to start out with a clean heart.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, it matters that each person is going the same way. If one of you is ready and the other is not, you loose. I know this sounds simple, but bare with me. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you stand for? Do you know where you are going? If you can’t answer these questions about yourself, then how are you going to ask them of your relationship? How many people do you know that go through life by the seat of their pants? They are in jobs and relationships that they don’t know how they got there. They are not happy, they are stuck.

Do not be one on these. Make a decision, you know a choice and then see it through. Oh wait, that would require you to know who you are, what you stand for, and where you are going. It also requires the same from both people ion the relationship.

That means making those decisions about sex, communicating them with your partner and then seeing them through to the end.

I once knew a person that was living their entire life going from praise situation to praise situation. Then when this person thought they had done something to be praised for and did not get it. Watch out.

Do you like to be praised? Of course you do? To what lengths will you go to get it?

Praise can be a prison for some people. I have seen praise pulled out and I have seen it get miraculous results.

Do you use praise to win friends and influence people? Do you knowingly use it as a manipulation tool? How do we know when we are being manipulated? Especially when you don’t have a high opinion of ourselves to begin with. If you know who you are, what you stand for, and where you are going, then you are not open to manipulation. This means that you have to take the time to get to know yourself, warts and all. This means you have to have a filter that you run scenarios through, this means you have to have something to use of as a compass.

By knowing yourself, your greatness, as well as your warts, by knowing and being honest with yourself, you win.

Are You A Praise Junky?

Are you a praise junky?

I once knew a person that was living their entire life going from praise situation to praise situation. Then when this person thought they had done something to be praised for and did not get it. Watch out.

Do you like to be praised? Of course you do? To what lengths will you go to get it?

Praise can be a prison for some people. I have seen praise pulled out and I have seen it get miraculous results.

Do you use praise to win friends and influence people? Do you knowingly use it as a manipulation tool? How do we know when we are being manipulated? Especially when you don’t have a high opinion of ourselves to begin with. If you know who you are, what you stand for, and where you are going, then you are not open to manipulation. This means that you have to take the time to get to know yourself, warts and all. This means you have to have a filter that you run scenarios through, this means you have to have something to use of as a compass.

By knowing yourself, your greatness, as well as your warts, by knowing and being honest with yourself, you win.

Brian Hunnicutt
Top Success Network
Make Money With Top Success Network

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Be Aware Of How You Are Coming Across.

Be Aware Of How You Are Coming Across.

My lovely Lady and I, love, honor, and respect each other. We are totally in love. Yet there are times when we still inadvertently hurt each other feelings.

How do you react when hurt? Do you pout, do you whine? Is there a lot of drama? Do you try to act like you are not hurt? Do you get mad but hold it in? Do you strike back? Or do you apologize and actually mean it? Do you try to hurt their feeling more than your feelings have been hurt?

A good rule of thumb, is to not take it personally, or if the other person really meant to hurt you, and it was not inadvertent. Ask them if this is the course of action that they really mean to take? If it is, then walk away, come back and see if they are calmer later. If they still want to hurt you? Are you going to stand for it?
By figuring out how to handle situations before we get into them, we maintain control not only of ourselves, but of the situation as well. We are not reacting to it, we are guiding it. We can then guide it to the best of our ability, but realize we can not and should not try to control other people. We can only create an environment that allows them to grow with us.

Let’s get busy running situations in our mind before they happen.

Brian Hunnicutt
Top Success Network
Make Money With Top Success Network

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